“I get this uncontrollable needs to please people” – Monica Geller in The One which Ross Got Tanned.
Assalamualaikum and hello to everyone.
I have missed blogging. God knows how much I missed blogging.
I felt really lazy to write, sometimes. But most of the times, I had a lot of things going on, and I wanted to write about it, but I just didn’t know how to express it… Or write it.
Like right now, I have tons of things to say, or write..but I don’t really know where to start.
My shoulder pain has been bothering me for weeks now. I play tennis every day. Except when it rains. It’s kinda funny because that is how I get shoulder injury, but at the same time I hate it, because I can’t play better tennis because of it. Ironic isn’t it? Anyway, I think the pain has diminished gradually, but I still feel the pain when I’m serving. I just have to suck it up but off the court, I’m crying. It really hurts me.. at some point I can’t even sleep. And it’s not just my shoulder, it’s my wrist too. My right wrist. It kills me when I can’t even hold something that is not that heavy. I feel handicapped. And abnormal.
But I keep playing tennis. Why? I don’t want to aggravate the injury, I know that. But I also don’t want to disappoint my friends. Or even worse, break my promises. I mean, why in the hell I keep playing if I know that it will worsen my condition? Because I love my friends. My new friends. They are my tennis-circle friends. I hardly have any friends when my best buds are studying abroad. So, when I make new friends, I cherish them. And I don’t want to give them any bad impression about myself. Having said that, I’ll not disappoint them. So, when they ask me to join them to play tennis, I said yes. Even if I’m so freaking exhausted and my legs are killing me.
At the moment, I’m in the heat of mounting pressure to get a job. Yes, I’m still unemployed. In addition, my best bud ask me to join him on a trip to Brisbane. So, there’s two problems. Firstly, I have no job. Secondly, how in the world I’m gonna get the money to pay for my trip since I have no job?? He said no pressure. Don’t think too much about this. Yeahh right. Of course I will think about this all the time. I want to join this trip. I want to make this trip a reality. I don’t want to miss a chance to go there. And I still have time to find the funds for this trip. I don’t know how, but I’m gonna figure it out.
I think I’ll update about my unemployment in the next post.
Do you know what’s more painful than not getting a scholarship? Missing the dateline of a scholarship. I found a great opportunity for me to get a scholarship for my Masters in UK. Yayasan Daya Diri will open their scholarship programs for whoever wants to apply for it this October. I have read all of their terms, conditions , and qualifications. I met all the criteria but one. They need offer letter from the applicant’s university. I had one, but that was for the previous enrollment. Since I’ll apply for the next enrollment, I’m gonna need a new one. I emailed my agent about this matter, but she hasn’t emailed me back. That made me so nervous. And it’s so painful that I have to wait. I’m so afraid that I’m gonna miss the dateline. But I hope not.
I really hope that all my problems will sort out greatly. Ya Allah, perkenankanlah segala permintaanku. Amin.
mie…i hope u get that scholar..still..no pressure..haha.kalau ade ape2 terbaru bout dat scholarship bgtau tau..harap good news la..i pray for u..and thanx for praying for me sblom ni…
k..i hope i get that scholar too, but my agent still hasn’t replied. i think the procedures might take some time. tu yg lambat tu. thanx too for praying for me.